Until the last decade it had been generally assumed that no education for marriage was necessary. This belief has lately been challenged, but there are still many who adhere to the old be­lief that such knowledge is gained instinctively. They would agree that training is necessary for other vocations. They would cer­tainly agree that those entering religious life should have special training. They would not hire a secretary without special training, but education in the complicated relationships of marriage was considered unnecessary. One has to take an examination to get a driver's license, but as far as I know no examination is required to get a marriage license.

Even among those who urge education for marriage there is disagreement as to what should be taught. Emphasis has until recently been placed on the physical facts of marriage. Lately this has been de-emphasized. Now more accent is given to the psy­chological interrelationships of the married couple. A knowledge of the sacramental and theological aspects of marriage has been taken for granted because it was considered that these were a part of religious training.

With the increase in mixed marriages, some readily available source of information on these aspects of marriage became neces­sary. The result has been a rash of books, some good, many bad. Some have emphasized one aspect of marriage, some another. Few have presented a balanced consideration of marriage. Father Langer has attempted to do so in this book. His presentation is a balanced one giving to each aspect of the subject adequate but proportional space. He treats the sacramental, theological, psy­chological, and physical features of the subject in a lucid, easy-to-understand style. His discussion of vocation is clear and easy to comprehend. The treatment of this subject is equal to the best I have ever read. Overemphasis on the romantic aspects of mar­riage is avoided.

To the young couple approaching marriage this volume will be most helpful. This is especially true for the non-Catholic member of a mixed marriage who should have a clear understanding of what his prospective spouse believes about marriage in all its aspects. Even though both partners feel that they are adequately informed, a review to systematize their knowledge can be achieved by reading a suitable book together. Suitable books, such as this, will not mislead. A balanced, sound view of marriage is pre­sented in the following pages which will provide a firm foundation for your marriage.

John R. Cavanagh, M.D.

A cynical comedian has defined marriage as a three-ring circus comprising engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering! It's sad that this 'definition' always draws a laugh from the audience. Even married people seem to agree wryly that this is a realistic picture of the marital situation today. Marriage, however, is not supposed to be an occasion of suffering. It should not be described as one little boy recently did (he confused matrimony with purgatory) that "matrimony is that place between heaven and hell where we are punished for our sins."1 Perhaps the reason why marriage has been aligned with "misery" is the fact that so many marriages today are failures. At the present time about one out of every four marriages ends in divorce, a total of approximately 400,000 di­vorces being granted each year.

In 1958, according to figures released from the Bureau of Vital Statistics of Washington, 52 per cent of all divorces granted were to couples married in their teens. From 1938-1958, 3 out of every 4 teen-age marriages ended in the divorce courts; 1 out of every 80 teen-age marriages involved adolescents attempting marriage for the second time.

Lack of Preparation for Matrimony

Every marriage failure discloses somewhat the same tragic pic­ture. Young people are rushing into marriage without knowing what it is all about. They center their attention upon the wedding day and the honeymoon without trying to glimpse at the duties and responsibilities which lie hidden in the background. They are ignorant of the problems — physical, psychological, social, eco­nomic, as well as spiritual — which must be solved if the union is to endure and succeed. Preparation for marriage is essential if couples are to make a go of it! Judge Theodore B. Knutson of Minneapolis pointed this up recently. Sixty per cent of the divorces granted since his court's family division was established affected those marriages contracted when one or both parties was less than 20 years old. "In almost every case," testified the Judge, "the young people had no premarriage counseling whatsoever."

1 Rev. Henry V. Sattler, C.Ss.R., "Marriage is a Three-Ring Circus," Our Sunday Visitor, October 13, 1957.

Unfortunately, the amount of preparation available today ap­pears to be far less than is needed. From his tour of 100 United States dioceses, Msgr. Irving A. DeBlanc, former director of the NCWC Family Life Bureau, found that 50 per cent of the Catholics who marry received no formal premarriage instruction and another 20 per cent got only one talk.2 Father Edward V. Stanford, O.S.A., author of Preparing for Marriage, in a recent Chicago address stated that in the 1957-1958 school year less than 5 per cent of the Catholic high schools in the United States were offering marriage preparation courses. In the 1958-1959 school year, the figure increased to an estimated 20 per cent.3

Reasons for Preparing for Marriage

Some individuals may wonder why it is necessary to concern themselves with the details of marriage when marriage for them seems so far away. Let's take a look at the reasons:

1. People are marrying at an earlier age than ever before. In 1890, the average bride was 22 years old; the average groom, 26. Census Bureau figures show that in 1955 the average bride was about 20, the average groom 22^4. Today there are more than 1,000,000 husbands and wives in the United States still in their teens. Experts expect this trend to continue for some time.
   
   
2. Although some persons are able to take a marriage course in college, the majority must rely on a high school course or their own reading program. Some dioceses do offer Pre-Cana instruction, but circum­ stances oftentimes arise which prevent you from attending them.
   
   
3. Today, you are being bombarded with more mass media about dat­ing, love and sex than ever before. Only a conscientious study of Christian marriage can hope to rectify the distorted viewpoints found among so many people.
   
   
4. You are interested in the subject. A brief glance at the number of question and answer columns on dating, love and marriage more than prove your inquisitiveness. But you need more than information. Proper attitudes to marriage is what is important! This can come about through a systemized course of instructions. 5. The Church has spoken on the need for marriage instructions. Pius XI in his encyclical letter on marriage warns those who approach the sacrament to be "well disposed and well prepared, so that they will be able, as far as they can, to help each other in sustaining the vicissitudes of life, and yet more in attending to their eternal salva­tion and informing the inner man unto the fullness of the age of Christ."4
   

2 "Too Young to Marry," editorial, America, July 14, 1956, p. 358.

3 Catholic Standard, May 8, 1959.

Reading Is Essential!

If you desire to get the most out of this study of marriage, additional reading is a necessity. At the end of each chapter there is appended a list of pamphlets, books, and articles for this purpose. Read as many of them as you can.

Recently a three-year survey of 600 senior students' reading habits on the subject of marriage in one large Midwestern high school singled out six books as outstanding reading. They are listed here to encourage you to read at least one of them during this course:

SUGGESTIONS FOR READING

Cana Is Forever, Rev. Charles Hugo Doyle (Tarrytown-on-Hudson, N. Y.: Nugent Press, 1949).

The Catholic Youth's Guide to Life and Love, Msgr. George A. Kelly (New York: Random House, 1960).

The Man for Her, Rev. Leo J. Kinsella (Oak Park, 111.: Valiant Publi­cations, 1957).

The Wife Desired, Rev. Leo J. Kinsella (Techny, 111.: Divine Word Publications, 1953).

Three to Get Married, Most Rev. Fulton J. Sheen (New York: Appleton-Century-Crofts, 1951).

What They Ask About Marriage, Msgr. J. D. Conway (Chicago: Fides Publishers, 1955).

4 Casti Connubii, Paulist Press, New York, p. 37.

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