2.  MAKING MARRIAGE A SUCCESS

On February 10, 1939, Pope Pius XI issued his last written document. It was a letter to the bishops of the Philippine Islands. In it he forcibly stated that "the first and most important form of Catholic lay action is the restoration of Catholic family living." Since that time considerable attention has been focused upon family problems in our midst. Schools are increasingly reorienting themselves; the liturgy is slowly being revitalized in family circles; Cana Conferences, the Christian Family Movement, and lectures on marriage and family living are becoming more familiar. High school seniors in particular are becoming more and more inter­ested in success in love and marriage. In high schools throughout the country marriage courses are being introduced. The purpose: to stem the tide of too early and ill-prepared marriages.

Marriage is the most important act in the life of the majority of men and women. When it is a good marriage, it brings men and women to the fullness of the life God intended for them. When it fails, it leaves behind a trail of faded hopes and dreams and broken lives. For those who are planning marriage, therefore, it is vitally important that they know what marriage really is. Cer­tainly no one can find the secret of successful marriage without first having a clear understanding of what marriage is. Is it merely a civil contract, entered into by a man and woman mainly for companionship and social and material security? Is it the result of a purely physical attraction, thoughtlessly embarked upon in the full bloom of youthful ardor? Is it only a pleasant companion­ship which may not survive the trials and tribulations of family life? No one can hope to realize the full fruits of a good marriage without first understanding what marriage is.

Many erroneous notions regarding marriage are still being cir­culated these days, particularly in reference to its permanence and its obligations. The reason for these errors is the failure to recognize the sacredness of marriage. Marriage is not, as some seem to think, a legalizing of sexual relationships between a man and a woman. It is, instead, a relationship established by God Himself primarily for the generation and education of children. The very name "Matrimony" signifies this: it comes from two Latin words. matris munus. meaning "the office of motherhood" or "the duty of the mother," which duty is the generation and education of new life.

What Is Marriage?

Marriage is an institution as old as the human race itself. It started in the Garden of Eden with our first parents. God blessed Adam and Eve: "Increase and multiply and fill the earth" (Gen. 1:28); and God's fundamental laws with regard to marriage are well expressed by Adam: "Wherefore, a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). Thus, marriage can be defined as a life­long union between a man and a woman who are lawfully capable of giving irrevocably to each other the right to acts necessary for the generation and education of children, mutually obliging them­selves to a common way of life in order to work out their eternal salvation. Among the baptized, every true marriage is, in itself and by itself, a sacrament instituted by Christ to produce grace.

The most essential factor in marriage, of course, is the contract. A contract is an agreement between two parties, each assenting to give something to the other or to do something for the other for a definite length of time. There cannot be a contract without the free consent of both parties.

There are six obstacles to consent.

1. Lack of the use of reason, infants, the seriously mentally ill, the intoxicated, the drugged, the hypnotized cannot give true consent.
   
   
2. Defective knowledge. Inorder to give consent, the person must know the essentials — that marriage is a permanent union of a man and a woman for the purpose of procreating children. He must know that this requires bodily cooperation of husband and wife. After puberty, it is presumed that the person knows these basic facts. It is not necessary that he know all the biological mechanisms involved in the sex act, conception, pregnancy, and birth.
   
   
3. Mistaken identity. If you "marry" one person but thought that you were marrying another (his twin, for example) there is no true consent.
   
   
4. Pretense. People who say "I will" while acting out a marriage on the stage or in a movie are, of course, not married. There is no intention of getting married and, hence, no true consent. But if a person is a bride or groom in a real wedding ceremony, his external consent by saying "I will" is taken as evidence of true internal consent. He would have great difficulty trying to prove later that he said "I will" but did not really mean it.
   
   
5. Force or fear. Canon Law is specific on this matter, saying that "invalid is a marriage entered into through force or grave fear unjustly inspired from without, such that in order to escape from it, a party is compelled to choose marriage. No other fear, even if it furnish the cause for the contract, entails the nullity of marriage" (Canon 1087).
   

If you are forced into a marriage by a force that cannot be resisted, you have not given true consent. There is no marriage in such a case.

What about fear? Notice the conditions. It must be grave or serious fear. It must come from without, that is, from some other person. It must be unjust. Finally, it must be fear of such a nature that the only way to escape it is to marry. If fear fulfills all these conditions, it results in forced consent and there is no marriage.

6. Intention contrary to the essence of marriage. If one or both parties would deny that marriage really is a contract binding on both parties, or that marriage gives the right to sexual intercourse, the mar­riage would be invalid, because denial would indicate a failure to under­ stand what marriage really is. You certainly are not making a contract when you do not believe there is a contract. And you are not making a contract involving sexual intercourse as one of the things promised if you do not believe that sexual intercourse is one of the things prom­ised. But, as we have defined, marriage is acontract involving promise of sexual intercourse.

However, if one or both have the intention of not having children, or of refusing sexual intercourse,. or of not fulfilling other duties, the marriage is valid. It is considered that they freely accept and consent to the married state but are not willing to fulfill its duties.

The difference is this: in the first case, the existence of any contract is denied; in the second case, the existence of a contract is admitted, and the contract is made, even though at the very moment of making the contract one has every intention of violating it.1

Marriage is a lawful contract between a man and a woman by which they give to each other the perpetual and exclusive right to those bodily functions which are naturally apt to generate off­spring. Just what does this mean? Since the bearing and rearing and education of children involve a certain amount of sacrifice on the part of parents, God made the attraction between the sexes a delightful experience. In marriage, "the sex act is one of intense pleasure. Many people would not have entered the married state if they thought only of the trouble it involves. But they 'fall in love' and desire to fulfill that love in the sex act with the beloved. To do this, they get married, have sex relations, a child is conceived and — after nine months — born."2

A Catholic wedding is

both a religious and so­cial event. It is religious because it is a sacra­ment and is governed by Church Law. It is so­cial because the part­ners are obliged to have children, if God per­mits, and to raise them as good members of society.

Jeanne Taggett

Marriage Is Both a Contract and a Sacrament

A marriage contract cannot be entered into unless both parties freely express their marriage consent in words or equivalent signs. It must be definite and visible. In marriage this consent is ordinarily the "I will" pronounced separately by both the groom and bride. It is precisely this expression of mutual consent which Christ uses to produce grace in the sacrament of matrimony. A sacrament, as you know, is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace. The saying of "I will" by both the bride and the groom is not only the consent of the contract; it is also the outward sign of the sacra­ment. It not only signifies, but also actually produces in the souls of the newly married couple an increase of sanctifying grace and the special grace of the sacrament of matrimony. These special graces enable the couple to live up to all the responsibilities of married life.

Just when Christ instituted the sacrament of matrimony, we do not know. Some think that it was at the wedding feast of Cana, which He blessed with His presence. Others say that He did so when He stated that marriage could not be dissolved. Still others maintain that marriage was made a sacrament when He spoke to His Apostles about matters pertaining to the kingdom of God, between His resurrection and His ascension. This latter is the more commonly accepted teaching. The exact time when matri­mony was instituted is, of course, unimportant. The fact that Christ actually did institute it is perfectly clear from the earliest traditions of the Church.

Matrimony is a sacrament of the living. To get the graces at­tached to it, both parties must be properly baptized and in the state of grace at the time of receiving it. Unlike other sacraments. which are usually performed by a priest, the groom and the bride themselves are the ministers of the sacrament of matrimony. The priest has no part in the giving of the external sign. He merely acts as the Church's official witness of the contract. The Church requires his presence, so that without him the marriage of a Catholic would not be valid. The marriage of two Catholics before a justice of the peace or a minister of some other religion is, of course, an invalid marriage. A mixed marriage performed by a Protestant minister is not only invalid but also entails excommuni­cation for the Catholic party. In some dioceses, this is also a "re­served sin," that is, it cannot be removed by an ordinary confessor, but recourse must be had to the bishop. In some dioceses, marriage before a justice of the peace also incurs a similar penalty. The severity of the punishment indicates the evil of the sin; one is cut off from the sacraments by excommunication until he repents.

The child may be considered an extension of the personality of his father and mother. At the same time, he compels them to look beyond the pursuit of their own contentment to the well-being of others.

Non-Catholics who are properly (sacramentally) baptized like­wise receive the sacrament of matrimony whether they realize it or not. The Church recognizes such marriages as truly sacramental and valid. On the other hand, in a marriage between a baptized and a nonbaptized person (disparity of cult), it is doubtful whether even the baptized one receives the sacrament. This is something to keep in mind if you should ever think of taking a non-baptized spouse. A dispensation will be required to make such a marriage lawful and valid, but it will never make it a sacrament.

The Purposes of Marriage

Everything in this world exists for a definite purpose, and mar­riage exists for a very definite purpose. In fact, the purposes of marriage are three, and they can be divided into primary and secondary. An easy way to remember these purposes is the mne­monic word: car:

C — Children          (Primary)

A — Affection         (Secondary)

R — Relief of Concupiscence           (Secondary)

Primary Purpose

The primary purpose is clear from the definition of marriage given above. The reason for marriage in the divine plan is the begetting and education of children. God's original blessing "in­crease and multiply" makes of man and woman in wedlock His co-creators of new life. It is for this reason that God gave man his sexual powers. Children are the fruit of the union, and the essential stamp of unity of the husband and wife in marriage. For the child is a single being and he bears in himself the personality of his father and his mother. He is "flesh of their flesh": something of themselves which detaches itself from them for the purpose of forming a new being. What comes from the father cannot be separated in him, nor can it scarcely be distinguished from that which comes from his mother. In the child, the married couple's unity is realized in an absolute fashion. The child is the couple's unity realized and projected outside themselves. Each spouse re­discovers the other in the child, and also finds himself anew. The child at the same time gives greater depth and breadth to married love, because he compels the husband and wife to reach beyond themselves, to rise above the sole pursuit of their own contentment by orientating their life toward other beings — toward other beings who at the same time are in a sense themselves, the prolongation of themselves. The child imparts a purpose to life since, thanks to the child, a parent has something that goes on after he is dead. Through the child, then, the love found in marriage takes on its full value.

Secondary Purposes

The secondary purposes of marriage are mutual help and affec­tion, companionship, and the allaying of concupiscence. The most intimate companionship of husband and wife demands sincere love. It is not that love based on pleasing words only, but on the deep attachment of the heart which is expressed in action. Mutual love and self-sacrifice are the virtues upon which marriage succeeds. Besides the begetting of children, therefore, marriage exists for the mutual help the partners can give each other in living the good life, for their mutual love and devotion, and for the protection they afford each other against temptation. To paraphrase the instruc­tion in the ritual for the marriage ceremony: the couple begin their married life by the voluntary and complete surrender of their individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life which they are to have in common. From then on they are to belong en­tirely to each other. They will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. This is marriage — that wonderful contract which Christ raised to a sacrament to sanctify those who pledge them­selves to it.

Qualities of Marriage

In addition to sanctity, marriage has two chief qualities or characteristics:

Unify

Unity of marriage means that husband and wife equally do not give to any third party what by marriage they pledge to give to one another; nor do they grant to one another whatever is forbidden by God's law. It is between one man and one woman, "What God hath joined together let no man put asunder" (Mt. 19:6) until death. Although relaxed to an extent for a time, unity of marriage was restored by the teaching of Christ: "Therefore they are no longer two but one flesh." Not only did He condemn polygamy in all of its forms, but He even forbade as sinful the willful desire of such things.

Marriage of an individual person of one sex to an individual per­son of the other sex is called monogamy. Opposed to monogamy is polygamy in all of its forms: polygyny (marriage of one man to many women) and polyandry (marriage of one woman to many men). Monogamy is the recognized form of marriage among civilized people. The experience of mankind, the voice of nature, and the institution of Jesus Christ proclaim that monogamy is the proper and only form for man and woman.

Indissolubility

Along with the unity of marriage, Christ taught the second great quality of marriage: indissolubility, which implies perpetuity and permanence. When God gave Adam the command to "cleave unto his wife" He did not say such a union should last only until a more attractive woman came along; it was until death. Today's world seems to think that marriage can be broken because the wife doesn't measure up to the husband's expectations, or the wife may pack up and leave because her husband's income is too small to fulfill her desires. Successful marriage, a truly Christian marriage, demands love and loyalty, a spirit of tolerance, the willingness to make sacrifices, large and small. It calls for under­standing and co-operation, and above all for faith in God and trust in one another. It admits, moreover, of no divorce, for it recognizes the fact that marriage is a permanent union until death, indissoluble regardless of the difficulties of married life and/or the fact that many are being divorced. "What God hath joined together let no man put asunder" makes it abundantly clear that no one has absolutely any power to dissolve a valid Christian marriage in which two baptized persons have been united, and which has been consummated.

Divorce does not remedy marriage ills but aggravates and multi­plies them. When a man divorces his wife and marries another he persuades himself that he has found an angel and that his new life will be a path of roses. But before long he finds the thorns as be­fore. Divorce leads to divorce. Many people live more miserably with their second mate than with their first, and yet more miserably with the third. Why? Because true happiness can never come to one who is in sin, and to remarry after a divorce while your first law­ful mate is still alive is just that ... a sin of adultery. "Whoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if the wife shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mk. 10:6—12).

Milwaukee Journal Photo

This man and wife are celebrat­ing their golden anniversary. Successful marriages are built on love, loyalty, and willingness to make sacrifices. For this Christ also rewards one hundredfold.

Marriages Are Made Not Born

A successful and happy marriage is no accident. It must be pre­pared for very carefully and it must be founded on mutual love and self-sacrifice. There are all sorts of practical everyday prob­lems associated with the combination of a man and a woman, and many special and most difficult problems which are not foreseeable.

The husband must have both the will and the competence to provide for the material needs of his wife and children. The wife must be able to fulfill the practical obligations of motherhood — maintaining the home, caring for the children, and acting in gen­eral as a helpmate to her husband in every phase of family life.

Thehusband who wants to make a success of his marriage must realize that he will be called upon to do many things that would not have been expected of him as a single man. The wife must realize the same. And both must recognize that they may have to give up certain of the privileges and liberties they formerly enjoyed.

The husband will have to be industrious to supply the family's daily needs by his labors. He will have to be ambitious to improve his earning capacity to meet the increasing requirements of clothing, education and pleasure of the children as they grow up and costs increase. If his income is not sufficient to provide adequately for his family and still enjoy little pleasures of his own, he must sacrifice his own enjoyment for the welfare of his dependents. . ~

The responsibilities of a woman are no less, but in a different direc­tion. She cannot fairly or properly expect her husband to perform the labors and services which are in the proper sphere of the wife. If the husband's income is not sufficient to indulge her wishes for the kind of dresses, hats and shoes she would like to have, she must reconcile herself to the reality and not destroy the peace of the home by her unreasonable and impossible demands.3

More is required of marriage than lipstick for the girl and broad shoulders and a cute grin for the boy. The modern woman, for example, must be at least an amateur psychologist, public-relations expert, dietitian, shopping and efficiency expert, accountant, in­terior decorator, housekeeper, cook, and chauffeur, to mention just a few of the directions in which she may be called upon to render vital service to her husband and family. Such talents aren't acquired overnight. It doesn't take intelligence to fall in love, but it takes real intelligence to stay in love.

It Takes Love and Faith

Fruitful and lasting marriage is largely a matter of true love and faith.

When there is genuine love and a consecrated Faith the practical problems of life are not too difficult to meet and conquer. When these qualities are lacking, even the smallest personality differences will often bring discord and destruction to a marriage and family life.

There are times when even the most devoted husband and wife have their differences. Maybe the baby cried all night and the parents were worried and short-tempered. A petty spat follows. Perhaps the husband is down in the dumps when he sees the next door neighbor's new car and he can't afford one. Or the wife sees Mrs. Jones with a smart new dress and would like one but can't have it. ...

The husband may be slow, quiet, easy-going and the wife volatile, exuberant, and impetuous — and these personality differences may at times be provoking to one or the other. One may have a livelier sense of humor and overdo it now and then at the other's expense. One may be patient, the other just the opposite. . . .

These and countless other big and little differences can cause pain and discord in the family life. But where love and Faith prevail . . . where there is a proper understanding of the mutual character of the marriage relationship . . . where husband and wife are truly "two in one flesh" — these differences never lead to the divorce court.4

The fact that the husband is the recognized head of the home does not mean that he may act like a dictator imposing his every whim, opinion, and will upon the entire household. A true hus­band regards the rights, interest, and welfare of his wife as well as himself and any children that may be born.

Under God's specific direction, therefore, marriage is a mutual relationship founded upon love, faith, and the physical attraction of a man and a woman for each other. Its success depends upon the willingness and the ability of both parties to fulfill their respec­tive obligations. It takes a good man and a good woman to make a good marriage.

Marriage is a mutual relationship founded on love. "Sharing" de­scribes this partnership well — sharing of joys, of sorrows; of success, of failure; of responsi­bility, of blessings.

Pittsburgh Plate Glass Company

The Catholic Church and Marriage

Because marriage is a sacrament as well as a contract, it is ab­solutely necessary to consider the laws (canons) of the Church regarding marriage. The Church is the guardian of the sacrament and must set up safeguards. The chief protections against unholy or unhappy marriages are impediments — obstacles, you might call them —- that block the marriage. They make the union either in­valid or at least unlawful. Such impediments are of two kinds: prohibitive and invalidating.

Prohibitive Impediments

A prohibitive impediment is one that forbids a marriage under pain of mortal sin unless a dispensation from the impediment is obtained. A marriage contracted without a dispensation from a prohibitive impediment would be unlawful but nevertheless valid. There are three of them:

1. A Simple Vow of Chastity (Canon 1058) as distinguished from a solemn vow is a prohibitive impediment. Someone who has made a private vow of chastity or who is a member of a religious congregation of Sisters or Brothers could validly marry but it would be a serious sin to do so unless a dispensation from the vow had been granted.
   
   
2. Legal Relationship (Canon 1059) is that which occurs between one who legally adopts another and the adopted. The Church follows the laws of the particular State in interpreting whether the relationship thus set up is a prohibitive or an invalidating impediment. While this impediment does not apply in the United States, if a country declares that, for example, a brother-sister relationship produced by adoption renders any attempted marriage by these two null and void, the Church in that jurisdiction accepts legal adoption as an annulling impediment. If, however, the State forbids such a marriage but does not declare it null and void, the Church in that jurisdiction considers legal adoption as merely a prohibitive impediment.
   
   
3.  Mixed Religion (Canon 1060) means that one party is a Catholic and the other a validly baptized non-Catholic. Unless a dispensation is granted, such a marriage would be valid but sinful. Tn granting a dispensation in a mixed marriage the Church does so with great reluctance, and then only when she has made certain that there is no danger of the Catholic party or the offspring losing the Faith. This impediment will be considered in greater detail later in this book.
   

Invalidating impediments

An invalidating impediment is one under which a proposed mar­riage is not only forbidden but rendered null and void from the be­ginning unless, where possible, a dispensation had been obtained. An invalidating impediment is sometimes termed as a diriment or annulling impediment. There are thirteen of them:

1. Age (Canon 1067) required for marriage under ecclesiastical law is 16 for the man, 14 for the woman. While such ages may appear very young in this land of ours, one has to remember that the Church legislates laws applicable to all countries and climates. Actually, young people should not marry as soon as they are 16 or 14. Canon Law is careful to add that pastors should try to deter young people from marrying before the ages customary in their country. For the United States, the average age at marriage is about 22 for the man, 20 for the woman.

2. Impotency (Canon 1068) means the inability to perform the marital act. If one is impotent he is incapable of making a valid marriage contract. This impotence can be temporary or perpetual. If it is perpetual and if it precedes the wedding ceremony, the marriage is null and void. If perpetual, and occurs after the marriage has been contracted, it does not change the validity of the marriage. If the impotency is curable or temporary the marriage is valid. Oftentimes such a condition occurs because of nervousness during the first few days or weeks of marriage.

Impotency is not the same as sterility. A sterile person can perform the sexual act. In a sterile man, however, the sperm cells are too few or too feeble to fertilize the ovum. In a sterile woman, ova may not be produced or passages may be blocked, thus preventing fertilization and conception. Sterility never voids a marriage, providing both parties are capable of the sexual act.

3.Bond of Previous Marriage (Canon 1069) renders invalid the attempted marriage of a person already validly married. Since marriage is entered into "until death do us part" a married person whose spouse dies is free to marry again. The death of a spouse may never be presumed. It must be proven. The Church is very exact in this matter. Mere lapse of time or the presumption of death which civil law sometimes sets up, is not sufficient.

This impediment is binding also upon Protestants and the un-baptized; ordinarily there is no freedom to remarry. Exceptional cases will be considered later under the heading "Dissolution of the Marriage Contract."

4. Disparity of Worship (Canons 1071-1072) applies to the attempted marriage of a nonbaptized person and a baptized Catholic. Unless the Church removes this impediment, oftentimes called "disparity of cult," the marriage is null and void. Typical examples of nonbaptized persons are Mormons, Jews, Moslems, Hindus, and the various pagan peoples of Asiatic countries. Included with these are those who may be generally classified as "Protestants" but who have never been bap­tized, or have been baptized invalidly. Like the prohibitive impedi­ment of mixed religion, a dispensation of disparity of worship is reluctantly granted by the Church.

5. Sacred Orders (Canon 1072) renders an attempted marriage null and void. This applies only to those with major orders, never to those with minor orders. Major orders are subdiaconate, diaconate, and priesthood. This impediment is of ecclesiastical law, dating from the year 1139. Hence the Church can, but rarely does, grant dispensation from this impediment. Roman Catholic priests of the Byzantine rite are permitted to marry before receiving the subdiaconate and are allowed to continue their married life after ordination.

6. Solemn Vows (Canon 1073) likewise render attempted marriage null and void. Solemn vows, you will remember, are taken by those in religious orders; religious congregations have simple vows which are merely a prohibitive impediment to marriage.

7. Kidnapping (Canon 1074) means that a man detains a woman in a place without her consent and attempts to force marriage upon her. There can be no marriage as long as she remains in his power. He must first set her free. After this is done, should she consent to marriage, the impediment ceases.

8. When one reads of an elopement in the newspapers, it is not to be confused with abduction or kidnapping which is an invalidating impediment. In an elopement, the woman freely runs away for the purpose of marriage; in kidnapping, the woman is not capable of making a free choice.

8.Crime (Canon 1075) is an invalidating impediment which refers to a certain kind of crime: adultery with promise of or attempt at mar­riage; adultery and murder without conspiracy; and murder by conspiracy. The primary purpose of this impediment is to protect the innocent spouse of an adulterer by depriving the guilty party of the hope of marrying his accomplice and thus profiting by his sin. 9. Consanguinity (Canon 1076) or blood relationship renders invalid the marriage of all blood relatives in the direct line, and to the third degree inclusive in the collateral line. Thus, a man cannot marry his mother, his daughter, granddaughter and so on. Nor can a woman ever marry her father, her son, or her grandson. Along the collateral line, a man cannot marry his sister, or vice versa. In the second degree (first cousins) and third degree (second cousins) the Church may grant a dispensation if there is a good reason.

9. Relationship by Marriage or Affinity (Canon 1077) sets up an impedi­ment between a married person and the blood relatives of the spouse. A man cannot marry his deceased wife's sister or mother or daughter (by another marriage). Neither can a widow marry her former hus­band's brother, father, or son. No impediment exists, however, when two brothers of one family marry two sisters of another. Likewise, a stepson may marry his stepmother's mother, sister, or her daughter by a former marriage. This impediment is entirely of Church Law.

10. Public Decency (Canon 1078) is an impediment arising from an in­ valid marriage or from public concubinage; it annuls marriage between one party and the blood relations of the other in the first and second degrees of the direct line. This means that if a man and woman openly live together as husband and wife, even though not validly married, the man may not later marry the woman's mother or daughter. The impediment does not prevent the marriage of the parties themselves who are involved in the invalid marriage or concubinage.

11. Spiritual Relationship (Canon 1079) invalidates marriage between those who have contracted spiritual relationship through Baptism. This means a person cannot validly marry one's sponsor in baptism or the person who baptized him.

12. Legal Relationship (Canon 1080) or adoption renders invalid the mar­riage of those whose marriage is invalid by civil law. While this law may exist in some countries, it does not exist in the United States. Therefore, a person may validly marry his adopted sister.

Dissolution of the Marriage Contract

While it is true, as stated previously, that a man and a woman once having entered a valid marriage contract have no power to dissolve that contract, it is also true that under some circumstances a valid marriage contract can be dissolved by the Holy Father. At first glance this may sound like a contradiction. The general prin­ciple to remember is this: no person or institution on earth, whether in the Church or in the State, has the power to dissolve a ratified (sacramental) marriage after it has been consummated by sexual intercourse. Once the contract has been rightfully fulfilled, death alone ends the bond. There are times, however, when certain cir­cumstances enter in to give a dissolution of the marriage contract. There are three occasions:

1.Dissolution of a Ratified and Nonconsummated Marriage. In a sacra­mental marriage (both parties baptized) yet one in which the husband and wife have not become "two in one flesh," the Pope may dis­solve: when one partner enters a religious order in which solemn vows are taken. This may be done without the consent of the other spouse, but, of course, permission must be granted by the Holy See and acceptance made by the order involved. When one spouse pro­nounces the solemn vows, the other spouse is then free to marry.

The unconsummated marriage can be dissolved by papal dispensa­tion after the worthiness of the parties and the public good have been investigated and considered, leaving both parties free to marry. As to the justice of the cause, this is for the Holy See to decide.

2. The Pauline Privilege. This dissolution of the bond of matrimony takes its name from St. Paul who explains it in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Though a consummated sacramental marriage can never be broken, yet St. Paul says that a contract can be broken in favor of a sacrament. This is true when two un-baptized persons contract marriage and after­ ward one of them becomes a Catholic and the non-Catholic will not continue to live with the convert, or at least will not do so without danger to the convert's Faith. Then the convert may enter into a sacrament of matrimony with another Catholic and the sacrament automatically dissolves the contract.

3. The Privilege of the Faith (Petrine Privilege). When a baptized and a nonbaptized marry they receive no sacrament. If one becomes a Cath­olic, he or she may petition the Roman Court to be permitted to enter into a sacrament of marriage with another Catholic. Then the sacra­ment dissolves the previous contract.

The Dignity of Marriage

Marriage is a state in life in which husband and wife love God by loving each other, by serving each other, and by building a family life with children according to the will of Him whom they serve in serving each other. This has always been the teaching of the Church regarding the dignity of marriage. It is indeed strange that the world has not paid greater attention to her teaching. But whether the world will ever do this or not, determine here and now that you will accept the Church's teaching on marriage.

Determine here and now that you will accept the happiness that marriage itself provides, together with the duties which will build that happiness! Determine to do this whether you fully understand what marriage is or not! Only in using a thing according to the purpose of the Maker can you use it prudently. You can only use a watch wisely to keep time. You cannot utilize it as a hammer. You can only use marriage efficaciously according to its nature. You cannot determine your own objective since you did not invent marriage. Resolve to live marriage as it is in the mind of the Maker. Otherwise, you will soon discover that you can only proceed from friendship to courtship to battleship.5

SUGGESTIONS FOR READING

Cana Is Forever, Charles H. Doyle (Tarryton-on-Hudson, N. Y.: Nugent Press, 1949).

* Christian Marriage, Edgar Schmiedler, O.S.B., an analysis and commen­tary on the encyclical letter Christian Marriage of Pope Pius XI (Hunt-ington, Ind.: Our Sunday Visitor Press), 88 pp.

Christian Marriage, encyclical of Pope Pius XI (Washington, D. C: Na­tional Catholic Welfare Conference, 1312 Massachusetts Ave., N.W., 1931).

To God Through Marriage, Brother Gerald J. Schnepp, S.M., and Rev. Alfred F. Schnepp, S.M. (Milwaukee, The Bruce Publishing Co., 1958). Grow Up and Marry, Raphael C. McCarthy, S.J. (St. Louis, Mo.: The Queen's Work, 3115 South Grand Blvd., 1945), 32 pp.

*A Guide to Catholic Marriage, John L. Thomas, S.J. (Milwaukee: The Bruce Publishing Co., 1955). Happy Marriage, John A. O'Brien (Garden City, N. Y.: Hanover House,

1956). Is Marriage Your Vocation?, M. J. Huber, C.SS.R., Liguorian Pamphlets (Liguori, Mo.: Redemptorist Fathers, 1956), 29 pp. Man, Woman and God, James A. McCowan, S.J. (St. Louis, Mo.: The Queen's Work, 3115 South Grand Blvd., 1948), 37 pp.

Marriage, Martin J. Scott, S.J. (New York: The Paulist Press, 401 West 59th Street, 1941), 122 pp.

Marriage and the Family, Alphonse H. Clemens (New York: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1957).

Marriage and the Family, Edwin O'Rourke (Champaign, 111.: Newman Foundation at the University of Illinois, 1957).

*No Longer Two: A Commentary on the Encyclical "Casti Connubii" of

Pius XI, Walter J. Handrcn, S.J. (Westminster, Md.: Newman, 1955).

Parenthood, D. A. Lord, S.J. (St. Louis, Mo.: The Queen's Work, 3115 South Grand Blvd., 1946), 38 pp.

Preparing for Marriage, Edward V. Standord, O.S.A. (Chicago: Mentzer, Bush & Co., 1958).

Teenagers and Marriage, E. F. Miller, C.SS.R., Liguorian Pamphlets (Liguori, Mo.: Redemptorist Fathers, 1956), 23 pp.

Toward Happiness and Holiness in Marriage (Washington, D. C.: Family Life Bureau, N.C.W.C, 1955), 12 booklets in spiral binder.

"What They Ask About Marriage, James D. Conway (Chicago: Fides, 1955).

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